Legion and the Hanar: Avatar
by QualityRachni
Summary: The newest member of Shepard's crew; a hanar, decides that Legion is the Avatar of the Enkindlers. A programming malfunction in Legion's systems lead to him taking advantage of this and sends the humble hanar on a quest to find the Holy hat. Crackfic.


Hey all, this is just a short crack drabble that I wrote for Fay from the masseffect fan comm on LJ in return for the awesome layout she made me. Her request was for a story with a geth/hanar pairing and this is what I delivered!

Disclaimer: Bioware owns all in this piece of writing. I just wish I owned it!

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"This one believes you are the avatar of the Enkindlers." the Hanar said floating after Legion as they scurried through the mess hall, trying to get away from the newest, and it would also seem, the strangest member of Shepard's crew. The geth's collective programmes had researched these "Enkindlers", all results told them the same thing, Hanar worshipped the Enkindlers, who they believed to be the Protheans. According to their evangelical texts, the Protheans had given the Hanar words and spirituality. It was also written that one day they would return in a synthetic life-form manifestation.

It was just Legion's luck that the new crew-member seemed to be extremely devout to its religion...but perhaps they could use this to their advantage?

"If we are the avatar of the Enkindlers, crew-member Hanar is willing to serve this platform?" the geth asked, ti's eyebrow plates rising as it's head tilted to the side. There was around a 95% chance that the hanar would say yes.

"This one would be more than happy to carry out the Avatar's wishes." Legion's light blinked as their plates fluttered in what could only be the geth version of a triumphant grin.

"We require a holy hat." the geth announced, sitting on the edge of it's storage unit inside the AI core. The hanar's tentacles rippled as it performed what seemed to be a bow.

"Does the Avatar know what the holy hat must look like?" the hanar replied. Legion nodded

"Affirmative. Joker-Pilot has the holy hat." if Legion had lips, it would be grinning like an idiot right now. Their circuit boards felt a little off centre and 250 of the collective 1,183 programmes residing in the platform were spluttering in indignation at the behaviour shown by the other 933. Shepard-Commander wasn't going to like this one bit. Creator-Tali would disprove even more than she already did of Legion's presence on the Normandy.

The hanar glided up towards the CIC, it felt important. Like it was Blasto, the first Hanar Spectre! There should be music accompanying him on his all important quest for the avatar; something dramatic, with flare. An old human song came to mind, _Mission Impossible_. But this one would not fail...oh no, for this one was chosen by the avatar to carry out its wishes and retrieve the holy hat from the head of the usurper who flew the ship; one Jeff Moreaux. The hanar would have to creep as carefully as possible as it made it's way past Yeoman Chambers and the other personel on the way to the cock-pit. It would have to use all its cunning and charm to sneak past the bright blue orb that was the ship's all seeing AI. It would return victorious and the Avatar would be most pleased.

Lucky for the Hanar, the CIC was empty; it recalled that Gardner was serving something that the humans called lasagne...to the hanar, it smelled odd and looked like a tray of baked sand, but if it kept them away from the pilot, it would do.

It slid slowly up behind Joker; hearing soft snores coming from the hairy-faced human. It knew this meant that the man was sleeping. If the hanar had anything resembling a face, it would probably be grinning like an idiot right now. Victory would belong to this one and the Avatar would rejoice and they would frolic through the cargo hold whilst the Enkindlers sang out their praises; this one's name would be added to the holy scriptures! It raised a slender pink tentacle and carefully slid the hat from Joker's head and held it close to its body before floating away as fast as it could back down to the AI core to the Avatar.

Legion had not moved from their makeshift throne in the AI core; they were strangely excited. Geth were not meant to be able to feel emotion like this, yet here they were; almost bouncing off the throne in anticipation of receiving this hat, like Shepard-Commander tends to bounce around before a mission. The door opened with its usual click and the Hanar glided past the threshold and bowed before them.

"This one has returned with the holy hat." it presented the hat before Legion, waiting for it to take it. The geth's eyebrow plates raised in amusement and it took the hat, placing it on it's head.

"You may rise, crew-member Hanar. You have pleased this platform."

The hanar rose and reached out tentatively with its front-most tentacles and took Legion's hand between them.

"This one is glad that it could serve the Avatar." Legion nodded in reply.

The door clicked open again; Legion's head whipped up to see Shepard-Commander Lelia standing in the door frame with a bemused look on her face.

"Okay...I'm not even going to ask." she said, shaking her head.


End file.
